As most of you had probably heard, the 2012 NBA Draft was earlier this week. Dozens and dozens of people not related to/working for NBA prospects descended on ______ in New Jersey to watch David Stern fight a chorus of boos every time he popped his face on stage to announce a pick.
With the conclusion of the ever-fascinating NBA Finals, the next stage of the NBA season is quickly approaching–draft time.
I love the NBA Draft. It’s really inexplicable how much I actually love it, I don’t watch a ton of college hoops outside of my Hokies/in March. But for whatever reason, it consumes my thoughts for at least a week (usually longer if not for the strike shortened season).
According to the Wu Tang Clan name generator:
- Lebron James-Radiophonic Oddity
- Dwayne Wade-Top-Heavy Hookjaw
- Chris Bosh-Violent Toilet Thing (swear to god…look it up)
- Mario Chalmers-Erratic Assassin
- Shane Battier-Asthmatic Enemy of God
- Mike Miller-Dependable Skeleton
- Udonis Haslem-Action-Packed Mentallist
- James Jones-Dizzy Cow
- Joel Anthony-Well-Liked Assman
- Juan Howard-Excitable Misunderstood Genius
- Ronny Turiaf-Tha Ever So Weary Assistant
- Dexter Pittman-Big Wicker Ventriloquist
- Eddy Curry-Tha Prickly Comedian
Oklahoma City Thunder
- Kevin Durant- Bilious Bad Janitah
- Russell Westbrook- Gorky`s Zygotic Glove Puppet
- James Harden- Tha Lonely Donkey Kong
- Serge Ibaka- Half-Cut Skeleton
- Thabo Sefolosha- Sheepish Lord of Chaos
- Kendrick Perkins- Undiscovered Bum
- Nick Collison– Masta Cow
- Derrick Fisher- Contagious Specialist
- Daequan Cook- Promiscuous Protestah
- Cole Aldrich-Embryonic Crusadah
- Reggie Jackson-Fiendish Observational Comedian
- Royal Ivey- Flailing Fanatical Killer
- Eric Maynor-Bastard, BASTARD HarbourMasta
So…my girlfriend showed me this. I’m confused….weirded out, and a little more confused.
Does anyone know where Shia went after the last Transformers movie? Apparently, he made an indie film about bootlegging (come on Shia, Tom Hardy can do a southern accent, and you can’t?). And then he starred in this:
So, as the entire NBA fan community has been busy reading stories about how easily Kevin Durant scores and how the Heat have to stick with their defensive scheme, I’ve been thinking about something else, the Charlotte Bobcats.
That’s right, the Bobcats. The definition of putrid. The team whose best player…Boris Diaw… refused to go on a road trip in the beginning of winter and demanded a trade (he was subsequently released). That’s right, their best player was BORIS “I EAT TOO MANY CROISSANTS” DIAW.
Just watch this:
This is awesome, I will probably write about this tomorrow.
Watch instead of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Yeah, apparently that’s a movie…and it sounds equally ridiculous. Well, here are a list of movies that I’d watch instead of watching Honest Abe hunt the Twilight kids: